Most Twitterers Missed the Boat

With the recent advent of Internet access at my house, I decided to spend Sunday morning doing some non-Facebook social networking. To that end, I've been going through all the emails from Twitter that so-and-so is following me. I've clicked on each link, and it seems some of these "dunderheads" (to borrow a term from SpongeBob) need some guidance.

1. If I look at your Twitter page and it says you are affiliated with The Don, I'm instantly skeptical.  If you've had almost 20,000 tweets, not only do I not believe you have any affiliation, but... no.


2. Just because I follow someone that you follow doesn't mean that I will follow you.  I've seen a few do this (they see that I follow one user and go through their entire list to harvest people to follow).  Don't take it personally, but... no.


3. Similar to above, following me because I am in Cincinnati... no.


4. If I pull up your Twitter page, and you have three tweets of crap... no.


5. 9 tweets 9 days ago with nothing in between then and now... no.


6. If you aren't tweeting something I'm interested in getting annoyed by up-to-date announcements about, such as parenting or pets... no.


7. If I pull up your twitter page and see 4 tweets directed at someone and one that has no apparent substance whatsoever... no.

Furthermore, for the few one that did get me to follow them, here is how to not get un-followed:

1. Do not post links that ought not be posted, such as to bing or google.


2. Do not over-tweet me.  With the exception of one place, I don't follow many because I want to be able to read those 140-character blog entries.

Lastly, here is some guidance of what people I want to see in tweets:

1. Post some useful links.  If you blog only every-so-often, feel free to let me know that there is a new post.  However, if you post with the frequency of Life Hacker, do NOT do this!


2. Make a few jokes.  Maybe I'll retweet one of them (which I've done... once!)


3. If you are a radio host, feel free to let me know what you are doing on the show.  I may not tune in, but if I am really interested, I will probably tune in.


4. Don't expect a reply unless I personally know you or really respect you, or I have something snappy to say.


5. Don't expect me to follow you unless I am really interested in what you have to say.

With that... feel free to follow me on Twitter.  Just don't cry in your Wheaties if I don't follow you back :)